1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
2. You add chocolate chips to your cheese omelet.
3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing with everything you say.
5. You're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that reads, "How's my driving--call 1-800-**&#***."
6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.
7. You're convinced there's a God and he's male.
8. You're counting down the days until menopause.
9. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.
10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.
11. Three little letters (M, E, and N) send you into an uncontrollable rage.
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Jokes 
